I'm a real loaner at heart. I don't like the crowds, the big holiday dinners, and please don't come knocking on my door. Many of my friends laugh at the camera system I've installed in my home that really records...nothing! No visitors, no surprise guest ... I mean zero activity at my home. And when I think really hard about it....it's just the way I like it.
Many times people say "O she's just a single mom, she doesn't have help" and this is the furthest from the truth. I have a huge family the one I've created and the ones who have raised me.
This spring break I went home because for the first time in a long time , I wanted company. Now, you have to be careful what you wish for because the moments leading up to this photo weren't all pretty like us!
Within the first 48 hours I had to do an ER drop off, I became an uber driver and my son said something so hurtful to me that I don't even know how I have the courage to share it. For the first time in front of everybody my son spoke on the domestic violence he witnessed in my life. Man, did it hurt because that's the chapter we don't share much about. It's kind of been my little family secret.
While he had no ill intentions in his statement I could only help but wonder how long he's been holding it in. I'm literally three years removed from the situation yet it was so present so current for him.
I can only begin to think maybe it was the first time he was in a safe place to share, amongst family who would accept the story and help him heal. Help us heal.
So many times in life we experience hardships and tragedy and we just keep moving. Never stopping to think to heal to actually just deal with it all. I'm guilty of that. I'm guilty of not allowing myself or my children space and time to heal, to deal.
In all truth I cried before this photoshoot. If I had to put words to my tears it would be thank God for FAMILY... our refuge from the storm, our link to the past and our bridge to the future. When I heard the photographer (my sister and my best friend) say everybody smile...the weight lifted. The guilt, the shame, the embarrassment no longer mattered! I was amongst famILY and good, bad , indifferent , and ugly (I wish somebody might) I was accepted and seen for who I am becoming and not the sum of my mistakes.
Thank you famILY for always being there, for always believing, accepting and providing a safe place. I love you forever and ever.
--- MathChainz but to yall I'm just plain ole Trice